I've made my Decision

I've made my decision.
I've made up my mind.
I'm not saying "yes" to him.
I'll stick to being his best friend and nothing more.
This is not the right time for it.
I don't want to lie to my parents.
I'm not gonna break their trust.
I'm not gonna break the friendship.
I'll concentrate to my studies.
I'll be a good role model to my younger cousins/siblings.
I know this could wait.
If he could wait then it's good, but if not then it's okay.
For now, I just want to stay friends with him.
I'm not gonna say that I don't have feelings for him, but I just don't want any relationship.
I might hurt him, but I just have to do this for our own good.
I know this thing wouldn't do anything good at this point of time.
I hope things will get better after this decision.
For now, I haven't told him yet.
My decision is final.
I know I made the right decision.
The BEST decision.

I'm happy that I've learned how to control my feelings and fight the temptation.
It's hard, but I made it.
I'm happy with my family and friends.

Love or Friendship???

Last Friday was one of the i-was-happy-but-then-sad-and-scared-and-confused days of my life.
Now, it's Monday.
I'm so confused.
Since last Friday, I was really confused.
I don't know what to do.
Will I sacrifice the friendship for a new chapter?
Should I go for it though I know it would just ruin everything?
I don't want to hurt anyone.
I don't want my conscience to bother me every night when I go to sleep.
But somehow, I don't want to lose the one I love.
I still don't know what to do.
My friends tell me that if I really love him then I should go for it, but I don't want to lie.
They say that if I don't go for it, my heart won't let me sleep.
I'm now even more confused.
My heart and my mind are debating.
My values and my feelings are arguing.
What will I do?
What shall I do?
I don't want to rush everything.
I don't want things to happen when I'm not yet prepared.
I know the feeling is good, but the outcome might not be as good as it is.
I feel like I'm in the middle of Good and Bad.
Loving someone is not bad.
But loving at the wrong time sounds not good.
I want to make a final decision.
A decision that would benefit not just me, but also him.
A decision that is good not just for me, but for the both of us.

HELP!!!

Family "Olympics"

Today is the day.
Yes, today!
We're going to have our own "olympics" organized by my brother.
This will be joined by my cousins from my mother's side.
We have two teams: RED and BLUE.
Well, I'm in the RED team, but I don't have any red t-shirt, so I
borrowed my mom's pink t-shirt. (it's hot pink-nearly red)
Right now, I'm waiting for my cousins to come here at our house.
The first game is Chess.
Well, I'm not joining (I dunno how to play it wisely)
This all for now.
I think I'm gonna busy for today, and I've got no other time to post this.
Bye~