Goodbye February

it's the last day of February...
tomorrow it's March...
how time flies..
the whole month of February was the most depressing month for me...
a lot of things have happened...
I don't know where to start...
I had a lot of sleepless nights with teary eyes...
last night was the last night I'll cry for the month of Feb..
after crying, I realized...it won't bring back the time...
but it was good that I cried because I had an outlet for all my emotions...
life must go on as they say...
but I still don't know how to start again...
seems like I'm stuck in the past...
still hoping everything will be back to normal like it used to be...
as the days go by...
I'm slowly trying to accept that everything has changed and that no matter how I cry or how I wish things would be normal...it's just no use...
I know things will get better in time...
but I'm not sure when will that be...
I still need time to accept everything that's happening right now...
though my mind is saying that I already accepted it...
my heart would say otherwise....

hoping for better things to come this month of March...

Don't know what to feel about them....

O-kay...something happened this lunch time...

Don't know what to call it...

Was it a conference or something???

Never mind it...

But I really felt bad about what happened...

They talked to us and they left us...

I didn't know why they did that...

Were they pissed off by us?

Maybe yes...

Because we weren't saying anything?

Was that the problem?

These are the questions that ran into my mind the moment they left us...

I wanted to be happy but I know I can't...

I don't understand every single thing that is happening to us right now...

No matter how I try to be happy, to laugh...

I really can't...

I don't want to feel bad about them but I can't help it...

I'm out of words right now...

Don't know what to say anymore...

I just want to express what I'm feeling right now...

With all the school works and this problems....

I'm not feeling well....

It's hard for me to be on the mood again...

I maybe happy or I may laugh but deep down....it's hurting...

Can't smile without feeling the pain inside...

Tomorrow is our monthsarry and I don't think I'm in the mood to celebrate....

I hope my friends would understand me...

Things changed...

People changed...

go back in time

if only i could go back in time....when i first met you....(u know who u are)

and if i can only stop the time from running....i won't let it come up to this point....

up to this point i'm still thinking why did it happen????

before i end this...just wanna say...

i would really miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my heart's torn to pieces...

is this really goodbye? i know it's your own decisions and i have nothing to do with it...but i still can't process in my mind what you said...in behalf of all our friends...i'm saying sorry for not being honest enough to tell you what's in our heads...we just don't have the courage to tell you and it was so sudden and we weren't prepared for it...there's nothing wrong with me if you left us...but the fact that you have been ignoring us for a few days already, it doesn't seem right...i know we're all feeling awkward but i think there's something going on...and we don't really understand that "something". i'm sorry if i can't tell you these things in person...this is the only place where i can express my feelings towards the situation...if it's hard for you...it's also hard for us...it's so hard for me to face you and laugh with you when i know deep down, i'm not comfortable...we've been through a lot and i don't want those things to put into waste...like what you said...we're still friends and i hope you won't forget that...it seems that everything has changed and though we are on the same ground...it feels like we're living in different worlds...very different...to tell you...i'm so sad about it...no one would be happy if they were put into my shoes...whenever i remember it...i feel i wanna cry but i know that crying has nothing to do with it...i still can't understand everything...i still need to clear up my mind...

no matter what happens, i'm still here...