Finding Myself :)

This past few days, I've been changing moods.
At first I'm happy then I'll be sad.
I don't understand myself anymore.
I'm always having mood swings.
Sometimes I'm just really pissed off with everything around me.
Why can't I be happy all the time?
Why do I have to be like this?
I'm not the only one affected here; my friends are also affected.
Just like last Thursday night.
*sighs* I just don't know who I am anymore.
Am I still the same me?
What's happening to me?
I don't want to be like this anymore.
I hate being like this.
I can't avoid being like this because it just happens.
I just feel it attacking me.

I just feel like crying, or talking to someone.
I suddenly felt like I want to hug someone and cry so hard on his/her shoulders.

Sometimes, I just don't know who I really am.

I WANNA CRY!!!

BIPOLAR ATTACK~

.. am not feeling good today ..
.. i feel like i wanna cry ..
.. urgh ..
.. don't know what to do ..
.. i need someone to talk to ..
.. klowie is not yet online, and i bet she's feeling the same way too ..
.. sab also has her own problems ..
.. i think shaira's mad at me ..
.. just received a message from joanne that she is also having her bipolar attack ..
.. lj's not texting too ..
.. haizt ..
.. saan na lng ako lulugar ngayon? ..
.. just texted my best friend ..
.. hope he'll reply ..
.. i feel so alone and misplaced ..
.. where do i belong? ..
.. i just don't know now ..

Unforgettable Moments with my CherriesZ

For the whole school year I was with my CherriesZ, and I really miss those times together.
I'll have to check my memory meter and try to list down some moments with them.
Good luck to me!

1. Jill will always accept any food that Liezl will give her. TAKE NOTE: ANY!
2. I'm always the last one to finish eating during lunch, and Shaira's lines are: "May mas hinay pa cmu magkaon? Wala na!"
3. When I gave them chocolates, Jill's line was: "Butangan ko naman ni "from: Arianne, to: Jill...ipafreeze ko ni siya for 4 days."
4. When Jill and I took Liezl's brush and tried to act that we want to borrow it. We ended up hiding in the cubicle just to laugh.
5. When Klowie had to pass her journal to Ms. Bula, and Jill barred her on the corridor and said, "Miss, stop in the name of Love."
6. When Sabrina asks Ms. Dimzon if she knows Yuto, and Ms. Dimzon said yes. She kept on asking her everyday.
7. When Joanne always asks for my food during lunch.
8. When Joanne and I traded our food :)
9. When we inspect all the tables in the Lanai just to check the vandals.
10. When Jill sees something and get it.

My head is not really working.
I'll post other moments next time.
These are all for now.
Bye~

Things that I miss in School!!!!

I MISS SCHOOL!!!
I remembered once what I read (i forgot where i read it)
"School is when you long for summer, and summer is when we long for school"
Haiizt!
When there was school, I really hate it; but now, I want it back!!!

And so I listed the things that I would miss:

I will miss...

1. Waking up at 5:30 or 6 am and preparing everything in my bag in a rush :)
2. Wearing my uniform and I.D. XDDD
3. My all green stuff (backpack, plastic folder, lunch bag, water jug)
4. My classroom.
5. The first period subject--BIOLOGY!
6. Ms. Dimzon's "Benedicite"
7. Ms. Dimzon's corny jokes.
8. Ms. Dimzon's daily and weekly tests.
9. Flo at Lau discussions.
10. Ms. LP's nicknames to our classmates.
11. Ms. LP's shortcuts of names.
12. Ms. Reston's powerpoint presentations.
13. Ms. Reston's M.I.
14. Ms. Gatoc's plus points.
15. Ms. Gatoc's easy quizzes.
16. Mrs. Garay's "chafing dishes."
17. Mrs. Garay's stories.
18. Ms. Bula's complicated questions.
19. Ms. Bula's journal entries.
20. Eating in the cooking lab.
21. Talking at the Lanai while the others are cooking :)
22. Mrs. Quilantang's inspirational stories and informative information.
23. Mrs. Alarcon's Math formulas.
24. The green benches where we used to sit.
25. The missing trashcans.
26. Chesca's misspelled words.
27. Jennica's hair that I used to play with when I'm bored during the discussion.
28. Jay-Ann, Christine A., Jennica, Aleeza and Christia's asking of paper (every kind of paper).
29. Daye's sleeping session during discussion.
30. Anna's answers during English, Biology and CLE classes.
31. Irene's smiling face while answering the teachers' questions.
32. Aleeza's doodling on her seat using Elmer's glue.
33. Rose's brilliant answers to every question.
34. Bea's howling during Filipino class.
35. Nicole J.'s hand gestures when answering or explaining something in the class.
36. Ynna and Camille's sentences about Sushy.
37. Sushy's reaction when she hears her name in a sentence that her friends made.
38. Natalie, Chiara, Aleeza and Thea's designs for the bulletin board.
39. Angelique's smile when Ms. Bula calls her "45."
40. Franie and Leezo's song adaptations for M.I.
41. Danna's passing of small papers just to ask me something.
42. Jouise Cyl's asking if Shannin could ask or borrow something.
43. Shannin's reaction when I tell her she can ask or borrow something from me.
44. Dawn's male voice when she sang "Hawak Kamay" for our musical play.
45. Kim and Yen-yen's convincing powers to stop having the Star Section next school year.
46. Megan and Ysa's high scores in Biology NAT review.
47. Janine and Angela M.'s playing with rulers during Culinary Arts discussion.
48. Irene, Rose, Miren, Rachel and Aina's beautiful presentations.
49. Pilica's giving out of Noynoy Aquino stuff.
50. Amandeep's complaints when she's called to answer a question.
51. Jennine's empty wish list during Christmas Party that made me think hard on what to give her.
52. Monica's miscounting of the absentees every morning.
53. Annette's cute smile when she knows the answer to the question.
54. Alec's borrowing of my colored pencils whenever she feels like drawing.
55. Kaye's doodle whenever we are discussing at the Bio Lab.
56. Sean's eyes when she smile.
57. Janica's "Congratulations" and falling of her eye glasses.
58. Patty's reaction when she's tired of answering things.
59. Angela P.'s loud voice that awakens everyone when she's talking.
60. CherriesZ' laugh trips.
61. Klowie's notebook full of Japanese words and their translations.
62. Sabrina's craving for something and ends up buying water.
63. Jill's appetite.
64. Liezl's Rubi-like hair.
65. Joanne's blending when I'm singing.
66. Shaira's laugh when she thinks I'm already "pikon" with her jokes.
67. The cat named "Bio."
68. The exam papers.
69. The tons of quiz or long test everyday.
70. The loud talking before the Morning Praise and Flag Ceremony started.

I've got a lot of things to miss about school especially my sophomore year.
I'll miss my section II-St. Catherine. I can't list everything here now, so I'll end it up here.
I hope you had a view of what kind of school year was 2009-2010 for me.
This is all for now.
Bye~

Thanks, Louis!

This is a picture edited by Louis Caritativo, sister of my friend, Sabrina.
I really appreciate it though you also like Ryu.
Thanks a bunch, Louis!
XD

A Miracle Happened Due To Boredom

Wew!
What a day!
This morning wasn't really boring.
It's really a miracle for me watching JDoramas.
I started watching Hidarime Tantei EYE and I finished it this morning.
Then I watched Sensei Wa Erai.
I really had so much fun watching them.
I really can't believe that I watched them.
Boredom resorted to these actions.
But now my eyes hurt.
I can't watch right now.
I'll have my break.
I'll watch again tomorrow.
XD
I think my morning until afternoon won't be as boring as the past few weeks as long as I'm watching them.

Till here for now.
Bye~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JILL~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JILL!!!!!
Stay happy and healthy on your birthday.
Stay the same though you're one year older now.
Happy birthday and God Bless!

New Story!!!

NEW STORY!!!!!
Yes! I've made a new story.
I know I haven't finished my two stories, but I made a new one.
The title is Jump then Fall.
I was listening to Taylor Swift's song when I was thinking of a title.
It has 5 characters only.
So, it's not that complicated like my other stories.
The characters are Aia, Ryutaro, Karam, Chinen and Riko.
The story is kinda weird, but I like it.
As of now, only Klowie is reading it.
I'm still in Chapter 2.
I'm planning of having 10 chapters only.
I promised myself that I won't drag this story anymore.
I'm thinking of posting it here or not.
I'm ashamed to post it here.
I'll still think about that.

This is all for now.
I hope I could finish the story within the month, so that I can continue my old stories.
I don't want to disappoint my friends.
Bye for now!

I've made my Decision

I've made my decision.
I've made up my mind.
I'm not saying "yes" to him.
I'll stick to being his best friend and nothing more.
This is not the right time for it.
I don't want to lie to my parents.
I'm not gonna break their trust.
I'm not gonna break the friendship.
I'll concentrate to my studies.
I'll be a good role model to my younger cousins/siblings.
I know this could wait.
If he could wait then it's good, but if not then it's okay.
For now, I just want to stay friends with him.
I'm not gonna say that I don't have feelings for him, but I just don't want any relationship.
I might hurt him, but I just have to do this for our own good.
I know this thing wouldn't do anything good at this point of time.
I hope things will get better after this decision.
For now, I haven't told him yet.
My decision is final.
I know I made the right decision.
The BEST decision.

I'm happy that I've learned how to control my feelings and fight the temptation.
It's hard, but I made it.
I'm happy with my family and friends.

Love or Friendship???

Last Friday was one of the i-was-happy-but-then-sad-and-scared-and-confused days of my life.
Now, it's Monday.
I'm so confused.
Since last Friday, I was really confused.
I don't know what to do.
Will I sacrifice the friendship for a new chapter?
Should I go for it though I know it would just ruin everything?
I don't want to hurt anyone.
I don't want my conscience to bother me every night when I go to sleep.
But somehow, I don't want to lose the one I love.
I still don't know what to do.
My friends tell me that if I really love him then I should go for it, but I don't want to lie.
They say that if I don't go for it, my heart won't let me sleep.
I'm now even more confused.
My heart and my mind are debating.
My values and my feelings are arguing.
What will I do?
What shall I do?
I don't want to rush everything.
I don't want things to happen when I'm not yet prepared.
I know the feeling is good, but the outcome might not be as good as it is.
I feel like I'm in the middle of Good and Bad.
Loving someone is not bad.
But loving at the wrong time sounds not good.
I want to make a final decision.
A decision that would benefit not just me, but also him.
A decision that is good not just for me, but for the both of us.

HELP!!!

Summer Fun

Hey people!
I'm back!
I missed posting here in my blog!
So, now I'm back from my vacation in Boracay.
I went there last Friday with my parents, brother, cousins, uncles, and aunt.
Going there was really tiring.
4-5 hours of traveling by land.
We just arrived at 12am this morning.
I slept at 1am and woke up at 7.
I really need to sleep some more, but it seems like no matter how tired I am, my eyes seemed to adjust to my school schedule (to wake up early).

I really had fun at Boracay.
I saw different people there.

I saw this guy (whom I found really cute) and called him "white polo dude" since he was wearing a white polo shirt that time.
I was walking with my cousin going to the room where we stay, and I happen to walk beside this guy.
I wasn't sure if he was a Korean or Japanese because I really didn't get the chance to look at him since he's just beside me, and it would be very awkward to stare at him.
And beside him was I think he's brother.
I called him "black polo dude" since he was wearing a black polo shirt.
He's also cute, but white polo dude is cuter.

I saw another guy who looks like Matt Evans, but is a Korean.
He was kinda cute.
But sad to say, he has a girlfriend.
He was with her when I saw him.

Indeed, I enjoyed my 3 days of vacation there.
Though it was tiring, it was worth it.

Happy Birthday DAIKI ARIOKA

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY DAIKI ARIOKA!!!!

RED TEAM WINS; blue team, try harder next time!

Wohoo!
Red team wins!
I'm just so happy because I'm one of the red team.
XD...we won all the games.
We're sorry, Blue Team.
Looks like we swept you off (just kidding...xD)

It was so much fun playing with my cousins.
I really burned a lot of fats (sweaty all over).
Though I've got body pain right now, it's still worth it.
Hahaha...I'll be posting the pics in Facebook..XD..

This is all for this post.
I really hope we're going to have this mini Olympics again next year.
XDDDDDD...

What should I do?

Right now, I'm in a situation where in I don't know what to do.
A lot of things had happened and will still happen.
Sometimes, I just don't know how to handle things anymore.
Someone would text me that she's not in a good mood; next thing I know, I'm also not in the good mood.
I know that a secret can ruin everything.
Everything including FRIENDSHIP.
But what can I do?
It's not my secret, but now I'm hiding it also.
Someone asked me not to tell anyone about it.
I don't want to lie by saying such things as "I don't know," but I really don't think I'm the right
person to tell them.
I don't have the right to spill things out.
I still don't get the reason why I can't say it, but I'm sure that it can start another conflict between us.
I just hope that if ever they would know this, they would understand why we have to do hide it.
Now, she's mad.
I can't blame her for that.
I don't want to break her trust.
So, I'm still not saying it.
Unless she gives me permission.
I just don't know maybe at this time, they already know.
I know that no secret can't be revealed.
Please understand.
I don't want our friendship to be broken because of a secret.
I know we promised that we should not hide any secret from each other, but please understand that some secrets are really meant to be hidden.
I know the right time will come and you'll know about this.
I know it's hard for you because you don't it, but it's harder for me.

I'm really sorry.
I hope you would understand me.

Family "Olympics"

Today is the day.
Yes, today!
We're going to have our own "olympics" organized by my brother.
This will be joined by my cousins from my mother's side.
We have two teams: RED and BLUE.
Well, I'm in the RED team, but I don't have any red t-shirt, so I
borrowed my mom's pink t-shirt. (it's hot pink-nearly red)
Right now, I'm waiting for my cousins to come here at our house.
The first game is Chess.
Well, I'm not joining (I dunno how to play it wisely)
This all for now.
I think I'm gonna busy for today, and I've got no other time to post this.
Bye~

My Stories in Line

Every night, I'm really thinking of updating my stories, but every time I'm
about to grab a pen and write, I feel so lazy.
Am I really that lazy, or I really just don't feel like writing?
I really hate it when I don't finish my stories.
Before the sophomore year ended, my friends told me to finish all
my stories during summer, so that when June comes, they can all read them.
I've got 2 stories in line and now I really want to write a new one.
I really don't know why, but every time I'm already writing my story,
new idea/plot of the story comes in, and I tell myself, "Why didn't I think of that?";
"I like it better than this one"; "Oh man, I'm already at the 3rd chapter of my story."
The next day when I go to school and tell my friends about my story,
they would eagerly read it and sometimes get carried away.
And I really thanked them for liking my stories
(even if sometimes I missed out some words, and they correct me).
I don't want to disappoint them by not finishing even just one story.
I remembered it when I told them that I won't continue my story because I'm lazy
to write it, and I don't want to drag it for too long (I'm a story dragger).
Their reactions were like, "NO!Please continue it. It's okay if you drag it. Just drag it";
and I was like, "O-kay, but I hate dragging the story; and I'm busy."
I stopped updating my story for like 1-2 months and one night, I just felt
like writing a continuation.
The next day, I let them read it and they were like, "Continue it. Continue it. Continue it."
And I was like, "Hey! Don't pressure me."

I really want to finish these stories so that I can start a new one (or two).
I'm just gonna rush the story (but not so rush).
I don't want it to reach a hundred chapters.XDD.

So I guess, I better get going.
I just need to brainstorm and WRITE!

GOOD LUCK TO ME~

Blog Reconstructed

Yey~ I just reconstructed my blog, or should I say, I updated it.
Most of the things in my blog are pink!
I added some stuff there.
I hope these stuff added color and life to my blog.
I've been thinking of updating this blog since last month, but I was
too lazy and impatient to do it.
And yesterday, I was really bored, so I decided to open my blog and update it.
I think my boredom had a good result.
A result that is really pleasing to my eyes. XDDD..

I really hope that you will all like this revision in my blog.
These additions of stuff won't stop here.
Maybe next time, I'll add/change some stuff here.
This is all for now.
Bye~

Random Poem I Made

As the summer breezes blow
I see you walk and go
How it breaks my heart
To see our dreams fall apart

I know I should let you go
While these tears just flow
I smile but deep inside it's bleeding
My heart keeps on hurting

This love has come to an end
I know this wounded heart will mend
You'll always be a part of me
In a special place in my heart, there you'll be

Today's Realizations

Today, I realized some random things:

1. Not all that flies have wings.

2. Not all knives in our kitchen are sharp.

3. Peanut butter will not really spread on your bread.

4. A lot of people hate brownouts.

5. NO ONLINE FRIENDS + NO ONE REPLIES (text) = BOREDOM

Sorry people~
I'm just really bored.
Got nothing to add in this blog.
I'll still thinking on what to add.
Now that someone is replying, I'm not so bored anymore, but if she stops texting me then I'll be bored again.
My brother and my cousin are just playing Pet Society in Facebook.
I'm lazy to open my Facebook or my Twitter.
xDDDDDDD.
I'm ending this post.
Bye~

Miss you all like crazy...:P

It's still the second week of summer, but I really miss you guys.
I know we've been chatting in YM and texting, but I still want to see you all.
It's not everyday that I would have the chance to chat with all of you.
That's why I all always have load, so that I could always text.
I also understand that not all of us have load :)).
And FYI, I have a lot of debt to my yaya.
But anyways, I'm looking forward to seeing you during the cards out on April 13.
If ever I won't be seeing you then I'll just wait until June 8 to see all of you.
Guys, I really missed you all.
Love you all.

Happy Birthday RYUTARO MORIMOTO

Happy birthday to Ryutaro Morimoto! May God Bless you and give you happiness not just in your birthday but to the rest of your life.